(Parts of this post were taken directly from my ebook, Finding
the Love Guru in You, which is available for purchase HERE!)
Not being able to “get into it” is an extremely
common problem among many couples around the world. Depending on the root of
the problem (i.e. psychological, relational, or physical), some of the
suggestions below may be valuable to you.
Get Enough Sleep
Lacking the proper amount of sleep can negatively impact many
parts of your life, including your libido. In addition, it’s really hard to get
excited about sex when you’re exhausted. Try getting 7+ hours of sleep every
night and see if you’re more interested in getting it on.
Exercise
I know it’s hard to believe, but exercising can actually give you more
energy. And, if you exercise regularly, you’ll begin to feel more confident
with your body and you’ll likely become more willing to show it off in between
the sheets.
Eat Healthier
Eating three balanced meals a day will make you look and feel
great. And when you feel good, you’ll have more energy and more confidence,
which can help you get in the mood.
Massage
Not only does massage have the ability to lower anxiety, alleviate
pain, relax muscles, and increase joint mobility, but romantic, sensual massage
can also increase intimacy and feelings of love between two lovers. So, make a
sexy play list on your iPod and get ready rub hot oils all over your lover.
Be Dangerous
Sometimes
a little danger can spark something in your relationship. Going skydiving, rock
climbing, or ride some roller coasters and use the feelings of euphoria created
by dopamine and adrenaline flowing through your body to create some excitement
in the bedroom.
Role-Play
Role-playing is a great way to keep things interesting in your
relationship, which is sometimes a cause of low sex drive. You could role-play
at home or role-play out on a date. Role-playing is adventurous and a lot of
fun. And, it could easily light a flame in your relationship.
Talk Dirty
Men and women can both benefit from a little risqué conversation.
Many times, dirty talk can make your mate feel desired, sexy, and naughty. All
of which are great sensations to experience when you’re getting ready to do the
nasty.
Watch Porn
Not surprisingly, watching people have sex may enhance your own
desire to have sex. But, make sure that both of you are comfortable with this.
Whipping out a porno before sex without your partner’s knowledge could easily
offend your partner and produce results that are opposite of what you hoped
for. So, watching porn can definitely boost your libido, but both of you have
to want to watch it.
Use Sex Toys
Many times, sex toys are able to do things that humans are just
incapable of doing. This is nothing to be ashamed of. If you or your partner
has trouble orgasming or if you would like your orgasms to be even more intense
than they already are, sex toys are a great way to achieve your goals. And,
they’re not just for women anymore. There are plenty of sex toys that help men
achieve more pleasure, you just need to choose the one that’s best for you.
Set the Mood
Getting
out the candles, turning down the lights, and playing some soft music can all
set the mood for love in your house. Doing these romantic things for your
partner doesn’t only have the ability to intensify sexual feelings, but they
can also bring you closer as a couple.
Take Vitamins
Vitamins A, B, and C, iron supplements, and zinc all have the
ability to increase sexual desire in different ways. While vitamins A, B, C,
and zinc can enhance your fertility, iron can give you the energy needed to go
all night long.
Reduce Stress
There’s no denying it- most of us are stressed the hell out.
Unfortunately, many of us are involved in unnecessary activities that just add
to our stress levels. Try to cut out some of these nonessential
responsibilities in your life. If being less stressed out isn’t a turn-on, I
don’t know what else is.
Reconnect
With all of the stress that goes along with working, managing a
household, raising kids, trying to have a social life, or keeping up with
hobbies, sometimes romantic relationships suffer. Reconnect with your partner
by turning off your Blackberry and departing on a romantic get-a-way for the
weekend, having an uninterrupted conversation about your innermost thoughts
about your special bond, or going on a unique, picturesque date for just the
two of you. Spending quality time together where you talk about the
relationship can enhance feelings of intimacy and closeness, which are
necessary for sexual desire.
Ask your Doctor
If you
feel like you have a physical problem that is causing you to have a low sexual
desire, talk to your doctor. Sometimes, hormone imbalances, certain
prescription drugs, anemia, diabetes, an actual sexual dysfunction, your blood
pressure, specific types of cancer, particular STDs, or other physical ailments
are the cause of a low libido. Get your annual physical and ask your doctor
about whether some of these things could be causing your sexual desire
problems.
Stop Smoking
Smoking isn’t just bad for your lungs. Studies have shown that
smoking can cause men to have a low sperm count and can decrease the strength
of your sex drive.
Consult a Therapist
You and/or your partner may also want to talk to a therapist,
psychiatrist, or counselor about your issues with sexual desire. Find a local
practitioner, schedule an appointment, and work out your sexual desire
difficulties with a professional.
*Some of these suggestions were adapted from the
Nerds Do It Better series on
www.100BestDatingSites.com
