I married a
Mama's Boy. There, I said it. My husband is a
Mama's Boy, definitely not as much as he was when I first met him, but a
Mama's Boy nonetheless. Unfortunately, I think that many mama-loving-men get a bad rap. And while I agree with many of the anti-
Mama's-Boy
arguments at times, for the most part, the pros tend to outweigh the
cons. So, let's get down to business. Below is my list of the main pros
and cons (that I and other people I know have experienced) when marrying
a
Mama's Boy.
PRO: Mama's Boys are typically respectful towards women.
This is a bit of a no-brainer. When a young boy grows up very close to
his mother, he tends to value her as a person, which makes him respect
her. When young boys respect their mothers, they generally will also
respect other women. My husband respects all women; especially me.
CON: A Mama's Boy may put his Mama before his wife from time to time. Since they have such a strong relationship with their mothers,
Mama's Boys
may have a tough time detaching from their mothers when they attach to
their new spouse. Well, let's be serious, a lot of this responsibility
falls on the Mamas, too. A Mama of a
Mama's Boy may make it very
difficult for a new woman to come into her son's life. When you're
dating, there isn't much you can do about this. But, once you're
married, your husband (not you) must put his foot down with his mother
(if this is a problem) so that he can focus his time and energy on
strengthening your marriage. The two of you have become a team (
you can read more about this idea in my book) and he needs to realize that his mother is no longer part of his
immediate team (she should still be part of his life, but just not as much as she was pre-marriage).
PRO: Mama's Boys are typically polite and considerate. In my own experience, my husband is one of the most polite men I have ever met. When we first
started dating, I was completely shocked by his politeness (he would
open doors for me, pull my chair out at dinner, always say his pleases
and thank yous, etc.). This is definitely a skill taught by mothers to
their sons. And interestingly, even now, my husband cares more about our children
being polite than I do.
CON: Mama's Boys may allow their Mamas to get involved in your marriage. This is a big one. Unless your Mama's Boy
is willing to tell his Mama to butt out, she will likely be involved in
your business as much as she wants to be. You see, Mamas of Mama's Boys
tend to want the best for them so badly that they are willing to insert
their opinions about everything having to do with your newly created
shared life. You know the phrase, "Mother knows best"? Well, that was
created by Mamas of Mama's Boys to justify their desire to tell them what to do (Just kidding! I have no idea where that phrase came from).
PRO: Mama's Boys tend to be more in-tune with their emotions and understand the importance of sharing them with their spouse.
This is also a BIG one. I can't tell you how many times I talk to women
who desperately wish that their husbands would talk to them more often
or at least just be more open about about their feelings. In my
experience,
Mama's Boys are rather comfortable expressing their
points of view, inner thoughts, and emotions. I don't know about you,
but in my opinion, this pro kind of trumps the cons.
In the end,
Mama's Boys can be difficult to be with at times, but their respectful, polite, comfortable demeanor can make it all worth it.
